Perennials Podcast

Episode 31 Ditching Diets and Ripping Off Halos with Jessie Haims: Part One

Jessie Haims is an incredible woman--a survivor of cancer and orthorexia, a yoga teacher and student of exercise and nutrition, she has become a fearless voice against diet culture. 

Jessie developed a disordered relationship to food at just eight years old, a relationship that continued for nearly two decades. Last year, at age 26, she was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and decided that enough was enough--she didn't want to waste any more time starving herself and trying to disappear. She finally decided to seek help, and therapy transformed her life. Now, Jessie has an entirely different relationship to food and fitness, and a whole new outlook on health and wellness.

In Part One of our conversation, Jessie talks about the conditions that led to her eating disorder; how therapy has helped her to navigate difficult conversations with loved ones; and how she still struggles with shame around being enough as a woman. She and I discuss how internalized patriarchy makes it difficult to shift our behavior and beliefs about ourselves and our worth, no matter how much we believe in gender equity. 

Visit the Shownotes page to learn more about Jessie and today's episode, and check back next week for Part Two of our conversation. 

Episode 30 Not Babysitting with Alex Baron

Alex Baron is not a babysitter. When he wakes up with his daughter at 5:30 a.m., when he changes her diapers or feeds her, he’s not doing it because he has to or because his wife asked him to--he’s doing it because he wants to. Because he loves being Addison’s dad. 

Recent studies from the Pew Research Center show that American fathers who live with their children are spending more time with them than in the past, yet fear that they still aren’t giving enough time to their families. In today’s episode, Alex and I talk about his experience of balancing his different roles, the importance of work places supporting fathers in showing up for their families, and how it’s hard to find a community of dads online who aren’t obsessed with high speed strollers. 

We also discuss the lessons Alex brings from his childhood into parenting Addie, and what he’s learning from Addie now. For those out there like me who aren't parents, there are also lessons in this episode about learning to parent ourselves, and the importance of healthy separateness in any close relationship. 

You can learn more about Alex and today's episode by visiting the Shownotes page.

 

Episode 29: The Mystery of the Missing Statue with Mallory Mortillaro

A few years ago, Mallory Mortillaro was a 22-year-old college graduate and middle school English teacher putting her Art History degree to good use doing part-time archival work. One day on the job, she discovered, tucked in the corner of a town council chamber, a lost Rodin statue. So began a one-year journey to officially authenticating the marble bust of Napoleon, a path that led to lots of media and international attention and to Mallory delivering a commencement address to Drew University’s graduating class of 2018, just five years after she and I graduated from Drew.

In this episode, Mallory and I not only talk about her discovery of the Rodin and what she learned about trust and hard work, but also discuss our experiences of college as two introverts who found the extroverted social scene pretty overwhelming. We also explore ways that we’ve remained committed to continuing our education as post-grads, learning through experience and continuing to follow our curiosity and pursue our passions outside of a formal academic setting.

You can learn more about Mallory and today's episode by visiting the Shownotes page.

Episode 28: A Perennials Birth Story

In today's episode, the tables have been turned--I'm the one answering questions! 

Lauren Roberts, previously my guest in Episode 23, is interviewing me about the origins of the podcast, and my current take on the themes of "growing up, getting wise and trying to live a good life." 

We talk about my post-grad quarter life crisis, slowly shedding the pressure to be a "good girl," moving out of my parents' house and balancing my need for quiet and alone time with social connection and engagement with the world.

I share some of what I've been learning lately about what it means to belong to myself and share myself with others--through connecting to my body and creativity, loosening up on trying to find the "one right way" to do things, and learning to be more authentic wherever I go and whoever I'm with. 

You can learn more about this episode on the Shownotes page.

Episode 27: And How Does That Make You Feel? with Jessica Gaeta

Jessica Gaeta is your new favorite Jersey Italian mom. She's loud, she's funny, she makes a mean lasagna, and she's got the biggest heart. 

I sat down with Jess to pick her brain about her relationship to resiliency and adversity, how she coped after losing both of her parents by the time she was 20 years old, and how humor helps her find light even in dark times.

We dive deep talking about therapy and how it has helped us both to grow in self-awareness and self-love. We talk about the most helpful and unhelpful things we've experienced in therapy sessions, the ways in which therapy is a lot like dating, and how Jess's therapist's dog threw her for a self-esteem loop. We also discuss the importance of being seen, known and cared for by someone who offers us space to be ourselves, and learning to be more accepting of our feelings. 

For almost ten years now, Jess has worked for the American Cancer Society, first in fundraising and income development and now as a Volunteer Care Manager. She received her Masters in Public Administration from Seton Hall University and lives in New Jersey with husband Alex and their adorable baby girl Addie. 

Episode 26: The Nature of Presence with David Crews

David Crews is author of Wander-Thrush: Lyric Essays of the Adirondacks and High Peaks, a poetry collection that catalogs his hiking of the “Adirondack 46ers” in upstate New York. 

David talks about his passion for wild and rugged terrain, why he doesn’t bring a phone or camera on his hikes, and how he strives to become more present in nature and in life.

We discuss the importance of retreating in order to reflect on how we can better engage with the world, especially in an age of rapid advances in technology and information. We talk about striving for balance and what it means to be in right relationship--with ourselves, each other and the planet. And we talk about love, a thread that runs through it all.

To learn more about David and the topics covered and references made in today's episode, visit the Shownotes page.

Episode 25: Belonging in Our Bodies with Cindy Goncalves

Cindy Goncalves is a Luso-American queer, feminist twenty-something, the daughter of immigrants currently working as a school counselor. 

In today's episode, she and I talk about her experience of sex education growing up, and what she later learned as a sex-positive educator. We talk about how she “stumbled upon” her own sexuality as a teenager, the symbolic power of cutting her hair short, and how she shows her students that queer people can lead happy, successful, meaningful lives full of love.

And we also talk about the hard stuff—her experience of being outed to her family, their long journey to acceptance, her struggles with body image, and experiencing burnout as a mental health professional.

We explore the limited and limiting messages our dominant culture perpetuates about what is “normal” sex and sexuality, and we discuss how sex is about so much more than a certain action or outcome.

We talk about feeling that we belong in our bodies and our bodies belong to us, and how we can all connect to a sense of creativity, intimacy and aliveness.

To learn more about Cindy and topics covered/references made in this episode, visit the Shownotes page.

Episode 24: Containing Multitudes with Grisel Acosta

Dr. Grisel Y. Acosta is a woman containing multitudes. She’s an Afro-Latina tattooed professor-poet, a leader and a loner, a fighter and lover who evades easy categorization.

In today's episode, we're talking about the influence of Grisel's activist parents and what it was like to grow up in Chicago as a minister's daughter and a punk rocker who loved sci-fi and dancing. We also talk about her life as a Latina intellectual and her new anthology, Latina Outsiders Remaking Latina Identity (Routledge 2019).

Grisel and I talk about what it's like to move fluidly among different communities and spaces, especially niche spaces that are often coded white and male--the punk rock movement, sci-fi, academia. We discuss the ways that diving deep into what you love, yet always standing a little apart from it, can allow you to freely explore and never lose your identity or sense of self.

Also, Grisel makes a ton of amazing references throughout the episode, by far the most of any guest yet--check them out on the Shownotes page. 

Episode 23: Spirals of Healing with Lauren Roberts

I don't know about you, but when I hear the word "healing" I often think of serene images: meditating on a beach at sunrise, receiving a gentle massage, drinking a cup of herbal tea.

But as Lauren Roberts says in today's episode, healing is not pretty. It's not linear, it's not easy, and it can be downright confusing, especially in the realms we're talking about today: substance abuse and sexual trauma. 

Lauren is a coach, facilitator, yoga teacher and trauma survivor who shares practices that she’s learned along the way for staying resilient, no matter what. After years of self-medicating with marijuana, Lauren decided to commit to sobriety; in this episode, she talks about her up-and-down, winding path of recovery and what she chooses to say "yes" to when she says "no" to numbing and avoiding pain.

To learn more about Lauren and today's episode, visit the Shownotes page.

Episode 22: Wisdom from the Lord of the Rings, Part One

In today's episode, I'm sharing some bits of wisdom from the book currently on my nightstand: The Lord of the Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien. 

This weekend, I'll be making a trip to the White Mountains of New Hampshire and celebrating my 28th birthday. With thoughts about journeys and lessons and Tolkien's words all percolating in my mind, I decided to record an episode reflecting on some of my wisdom-takeaways from the book. I talk about the importance of accepting help and welcoming miracles, how some things are more important than being comfortable, learning to feast and rest whenever we can, and doing what we love even if it doesn't seem to matter. 

For more information about topics covered and references made in this episode, visit the Shownotes page.